That scruffy stuff on my face.
Ah yes, my facial hair.
I can still remember the horror of having multiple whiskers protrude from my face just a few days after turning fifteen.
I wanted it gone forever, immediately!
I took pride in my smooth soft skin, I had worked very hard through puberty to make sure I never had one pimple.
Not. Even. One.
But biology said fuck your smooth skin!
Deal with it.
So, I have been and the conclusion is probably not what you think.
I’ve tried waxing, shaving, trimming and so on.
On one particular occasion I became so upset with my facial hair that I quite literally plucked every hair from the left side of my face. The only reason I stopped before reaching the right side (besides that awful pain) was because I noticed that the left side where I had been plucking was now starting to swell and go numb. The next day, the left side of my face was red and slightly purple. It appeared as if someone had repeatedly back handed the left side of my face.
So my conclusion?
We’ll, I’ve accepted it.
I had to ask myself a serious questions that left me heart broken and humiliated…
Why do I hate my facial hair?
After beating myself over the head with this question I found my answer with a good friend of mine who has struggled with weight gain for a few years.
A while back we were ridding home from the city, her kids were asleep in the back and we began talking about life.
In the middle of the conversation she says
“Alex, would you think of me different if I just gave up on trying to loose all this excessive body weight from having the kids?”
I thought a moment, I mean really thought about what to say and if I would see her opinions or judgments differently. Then I asked her a question.
“Would you think of me different if I stopped fighting with this stupid hair growing out of my face and still wore clothing that the rest of society deemed as feminine?
Together both of us pondered while listening to some music, still on the highway.
Finally, she spoke up and said “you know what, yes! I would see you differently! I would see you, giving a big damn fuck you to society for making you feel as if you aren’t pretty enough to wear a dress or high heels simply because your biology insists on pushing hair out of your face, something you have NO CONTROL OF. You don’t get to choose your body type, you just have to accept it, and if you did that, I think it would be inspirational!”
At this point I’m in tears, because she’s right!
So I pull over because I can’t see when I’m crying and she takes over driving.
Back on the road, I said “You know, you’re so right! The only reason I want my facial hair gone is because I want other people to think I’m pretty and that I should belong in a dress or high heels. Facial hair has made me feel that I don’t belong in some of the clothes I wear, but really its not my facial hair, its this idea pressured onto me by todays societal standard that I can’t have both. Its the same thing for you to though! You have been kicking your own ass over the weight you gained after the kids. But why? Because your afraid that others will see you as a bad example for your kids, or that you are lazy! But the truth is, being a single mother with two toddlers is all you can handle right now. You deserve to feel beautiful because you are beautiful! Your weight is a testament to the struggle that you have went through to bring two lives into this world, it should not be seen as a problem! But just like my facial hair, I’ve grown up in a society where its taboo to be scruffy & fabulous! But you know, these are our bodies, this is what they do, this is how they react to our genetic make up, this is how they respond to LIFE! Why should we hate that?”
At this point, she’s in tears now, the kids are waking up, its getting hard for her to see the road too. She pulls off some random exit and I tell her to pull into the first place that serves ice cream.
Got the kids settled momentarily, got the ice cream and then talked a bit more.
At the end of the conversation, we had come to the conclusion that the only reason we see the things we don’t like about ourselves as a problem, is because we are comparing ourselves to a beauty standard that is unattainable for ourselves. Ultimately , fighting a battle that has already been lost.
Some people might not like my facial hair, which is fine.
But I have accepted it and I will embrace it.
Deal with it.
- 9 hours ago
- 9 hours ago
I have bronchitis. Thanks to the ACA, I was able to get medicine for $0. #ThanksObama
that came from taxes I paid.
Well, let my know how much I owe you and I’ll drop a few pennies in the mail. War comes from taxes you paid, and I personally dislike the amount I pay going for that… Maybe we should check “yes” or “no” on our 1040 forms this year for allocation of tax dollars.
I’m sorry you think I’m lying, but I’m not. I qualified for the Medicaid expansion under the ACA, which is partially funded through taxpayer revenue. I don’t think the IRS mailed you a letter saying, “Nah nah nah nah naaaaaaah! This year’s tax dollars went to pay for medicine for poor people mwahahaha!” Who knows? Maybe YOUR portion of tax dollars went to a Hellfire missile that took out a village in Afghanistan. Ooh, how exciting for you!
Comfort yourself with that thought as I use my inhaler, which I would not have been able to afford without the ACA.
what the fuck is wrong with Americans who aren’t on board with free healthcare. I’m Canadian and I don’t care that I pay extra taxes so a little boy in Alberta can have open heart surgery, or an elderly man in Nova Scotia can get the heart medication he desperately needs. It’s called taking care of your people. I’m glad I pay so that people can have a good quality of life. It’s called being a decent fucking human being.
(via witchiemaiden)Source: cognitivedissonance
- 9 hours ago
Tony Porter: A Call To Men
"Tony is the original visionary and co-founder behind A CALL TO MEN: The National Association of Men and Women Committed to Ending Violence Against Women. He is the author of "Well Meaning Men...Breaking Out of the Man Box - Ending Violence Against Women" and the visionary for the book, NFL Dads Dedicated to Daughters.
Tony's message of accountability is welcome and supported by many grassroots and established organizations. He’s currently working with numerous domestic and sexual violence programs, the National Football League, the National Basketball Association, colleges and universities around the country. He has worked with the United States Military Academy at West Point and the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis.
Tony is an international lecturer for the U.S. State Department having worked in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, United Kingdom and Brazil. In addition, he has been a guest presenter for the United Nations' Commission on the Status of Women and has been a script consultant for Law & Order: Special Victims Unit." - (x)
(via beanilee)Source: exgynocraticgrrl
- 11 hours ago
Sometimes things suck.
Looking on the bright side doesn’t always help. Positive thinking doesn’t always help. Gratitude and mindfulness don’t always help. Those things help in some situations, but they’re not a universal cure that will fix everything.
Noticing that things suck isn’t what makes…
- 11 hours ago
- 1 day ago
Take a facet of crime, and then look at television shows/movies that feature those criminals as protagonists.
White serial killers.
White political corruption
White drug dealers
I mostly want to talk about this as a TV phenomenon, but pick a crime, any crime, and Western media has probably made a movie/TV series/play/etc. with a white person that romanticizes the criminal activity. No matter what, a white person can do whatever terrible crimes and still have a TV/movie fanbase that loves them.
When you see black or brown people committing crimes on screen, you are to see them thugs and criminal masterminds and people to be beat down.
When you see white people committing crimes on screen, you see a three-dimensional portrait of why someone might commit that crime, how criminals are people too, and how you should even love them for the crimes that they commit because they’re just providing for their families or they’ve wronged or they’re just people and not perfect. This is particularly a luxury given to white male characters, since there few white female criminals as protagonists.
If and of the above shows were about black or brown folks, there would be a backlash of (white) people claiming that TV and movies are romanticizing criminals and are treating them too much like heroes and that it will affect viewers and encourage violence and “thuggish” behavior. And yet fictional white criminals get to have a deep fanbase who loves these white criminals, receive accolades and awards, get called amazing television that portray the complexities of human nature. Viewers of these characters see past the atrocious crimes and into their humanity, a luxury that white characters always have while characters of color rarely do. The closest that mainstream TV has come to showing black criminals as main characters is probably The Wire, and even then, the criminals share equal screen time and equal status as main characters as the police trying to stop them.
The idea that crime can be so heavily romanticized and glorified to such a degree is undoubtedly a privilege given to white characters. The next time you hear someone talk about Dexter Morgan or Walter White in a positive way, it may be an opportunity to rethink how white people can always able to be seen as people no matter what they do, while everyone else can be boiled down to nothing but a criminal.
I always felt extremely uncomfortable with this trope because, not only is it racist, but it tends to feed into the already too common propensity society has to humanize, romanticize and exonerate irrevocably terrible white men. Like if you’re a white man and you commit awful crimes, you will likely go down in history as a legendary celebrity and historical figure
(via brutereason)Source: daughterofmulan
- 1 day ago
Red Beach - The March of the Red Crabs
What you see in the five first photos are baby Christmas Island Red Crabs, Gecarcoidea natalis (Decapoda - Gecarcinidae), emerging from the ocean, and making their way to the forest, as seen in January of this 2014.
These crabs are endemic to the Christmas Island. For most of the year the red crabs are found within forest, but each year these crabs must migrate to the coast to breed (last photo). The estimated population of adult red crabs on Christmas Island was 43.7 million in 2001, so the migration is really impressive.
The arrival of the monsoonal rains allows increased activity of red crabs and stimulates the annual migration. During this breeding migration red crabs, like other terrestrial gecarcinids, must abandon their home ranges and travel down to the coast to mate and spawn. The downward migration normally requires at least a week, and the crabs migrate mainly during the first few hours of the morning and in the late afternoon.
The males excavate burrows, which they must defend from other males, on the lowest shore terraces; mating occurs in or near the burrows. Soon after mating the males start the journey back inland to the forest, while the females lay their eggs and remain in the burrows for 2 weeks. At the end of the incubation period the females vacate their burrows and make their way to the coastal cliffs, which almost completely surround the island, to cast their eggs into the ocean. The females usually release their eggs into the sea toward dawn, around the turn of the high tide, and then they return to the forest.
Eggs hatch immediately in the sea and the larvae (now called megalope) live in the sea for about a month before returning to land as juvenile crabs. These juvenile crabs start a first migration to the forest as seen in the first photos.
Photo credit: ©Kirsty Faulkner | Locality: Christmas Island (2014)
(via cyan-biologist)Source: libutron
- 1 day ago
Button plants - Conophytum ficiforme
Conophytum ficiforme (Caryophyllales - Aizoaceae) is a dwarf, almost stemless succulent endemic to South Africa, that grows in small dense clumps forming compact mats or domes. The fig-shaped bodies are greyish-green, 20 mm long and 15 mm thick, sometimes depressed at the fissure (gap, groove), with two distinct lobes.
They are often flushed with purple and have characteristic horseshoe-shaped markings of greenish to reddish dots or lines which surround the fissure and cross the lobes. The highly scented rose-pink, white to pale yellow flowers are long lasting and appear in autumn. The fruit is a capsule containing many small seeds.
Photo credit: ©Mike Keeling | Locality: cultivated (2008)
- 1 day ago